How to live through the pain of losing a child?
death
How can parents ease what they are going through in grief? When a child dies, even breathing can feel hard. This support is here for those who are grieving and trying to get through the hardest days after their child’s death.
This is not about “being strong.”
And not about “moving on.”
It is about getting through this day,
when everything inside feels broken.
If something here resonates, you can take it.
If not, you can leave it.
Nothing here is required.
When it hits
Sometimes the pain comes in waves.
Sometimes it feels like fog.
Sometimes like the sensation of falling.
In moments like this, it’s not important to “work through your feelings.”
What matters is helping your body not fall apart.
Try something very simple:
Look around and quietly notice to yourself:
• five things you can see
• four sounds you can hear
• three sensations in your body
This brings you back into the moment.
To the place where you are alive right now.
Breathing that holds you
When grief becomes overwhelming, breathing often becomes shallow.
The body thinks the danger is still here.
Try:
• a slow inhale
• followed by a slightly longer exhale
Even a few cycles like this can send your body a signal:
“I am safe right now.”
The body needs support
On days like these, the body needs to feel:
I am being held.
You can:
• wrap yourself in a blanket
• hold yourself with your arms
• lean against a wall or the back of a chair
These are not symbols.
This is biology.
This is how the body knows it is not falling.
Warmth
Warm tea.
A warm shower.
A heating pad.
Warmth is one of the oldest signals of care.
Sometimes it is the only thing you can give yourself right now.
About their name
If you can, say your child’s name.
Out loud or silently.
They were.
They are in you.
They do not need to be erased for you to survive.
Not being alone
In grief, it is very easy to turn inward and disappear inside yourself.
But trauma becomes heavier when no one witnesses it.
That presence can be:
• someone nearby
• a voice on the phone
• a message
• a professional
They don’t have to know what to say.
It is enough that they are there.
When it feels unbearable
Sometimes the best thing you can do
is simply lie down, close your eyes, and breathe.
You do not have to live this beautifully.
You are simply living.
If you are here, it means there is a tiny movement toward life inside you -
even if you cannot feel it right now.
That is enough.
Sometimes even the simplest supports are not enough
when the pain becomes too intense.
In those moments, many people find it helps not to stay alone with it -
but to have someone nearby who knows how to be with states like this.
And not about “moving on.”
It is about getting through this day,
when everything inside feels broken.
If something here resonates, you can take it.
If not, you can leave it.
Nothing here is required.
When it hits
Sometimes the pain comes in waves.
Sometimes it feels like fog.
Sometimes like the sensation of falling.
In moments like this, it’s not important to “work through your feelings.”
What matters is helping your body not fall apart.
Try something very simple:
Look around and quietly notice to yourself:
• five things you can see
• four sounds you can hear
• three sensations in your body
This brings you back into the moment.
To the place where you are alive right now.
Breathing that holds you
When grief becomes overwhelming, breathing often becomes shallow.
The body thinks the danger is still here.
Try:
• a slow inhale
• followed by a slightly longer exhale
Even a few cycles like this can send your body a signal:
“I am safe right now.”
The body needs support
On days like these, the body needs to feel:
I am being held.
You can:
• wrap yourself in a blanket
• hold yourself with your arms
• lean against a wall or the back of a chair
These are not symbols.
This is biology.
This is how the body knows it is not falling.
Warmth
Warm tea.
A warm shower.
A heating pad.
Warmth is one of the oldest signals of care.
Sometimes it is the only thing you can give yourself right now.
About their name
If you can, say your child’s name.
Out loud or silently.
They were.
They are in you.
They do not need to be erased for you to survive.
Not being alone
In grief, it is very easy to turn inward and disappear inside yourself.
But trauma becomes heavier when no one witnesses it.
That presence can be:
• someone nearby
• a voice on the phone
• a message
• a professional
They don’t have to know what to say.
It is enough that they are there.
When it feels unbearable
Sometimes the best thing you can do
is simply lie down, close your eyes, and breathe.
You do not have to live this beautifully.
You are simply living.
If you are here, it means there is a tiny movement toward life inside you -
even if you cannot feel it right now.
That is enough.
Sometimes even the simplest supports are not enough
when the pain becomes too intense.
In those moments, many people find it helps not to stay alone with it -
but to have someone nearby who knows how to be with states like this.