This fear is not yours — yet you carry it.
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This Fear Is Not Yours — Yet You Carry It On emotional contagion, boundaries, and caring for yourself You wake up — and the anxiety is already there. Even though everything around you seems calm. Nothing terrible has happened in your own life. And yet your body feels heavy. There is tightness in your chest. As if something is about to happen. As if danger is close. And then you remember: yesterday you read a news story about someone who was killed. You watched videos about evacuations. You saw a friend crying over her son. You listened to stories of fear, pain, and loss. This fear is not yours. Yet you carry it. Why does this happen?
This Fear Is Not Yours - Yet You Carry It
On emotional contagion, boundaries, and caring for yourself
You wake up - and anxiety is already there.
Even though everything around you seems calm.
Nothing frightening has happened in your own life.
And yet your body feels heavy.
Your chest feels tight.
As if something is about to happen.
As if danger is close.
Then you remember:
yesterday you read a news story about someone who was killed.
You watched a video about an evacuation.
You saw a friend crying over her son.
You listened to stories of fear, pain, and loss.
This fear is not yours.
Yet you carry it.
Why does this happen?
This experience has a name - emotional contagion.
People with a high level of empathy tend to “pick up” other people’s emotions more easily, especially in times of war, prolonged stress, and constant exposure to distressing news.
The brain does not always clearly distinguish between something that happened to you and something that happened to someone else.
When you hear an emotionally charged story, the same neural networks can activate as if you were experiencing it yourself. These are known as mirror neurons. You empathize - and at some point, you begin to merge with someone else’s fear.
Other people’s anxiety is unconsciously read as a signal of danger.
Even if you are not in immediate danger, your body reacts as though you were at the center of it.
What can you do?
1. Learn to separate what is yours from what is not
Ask yourself a simple question:
“Is this really happening to me right now? Or am I carrying someone else’s story?”
This is not coldness.
It is emotional hygiene.
2. Limit your intake of pain
Moderate your news consumption.
Do not scroll the feed first thing in the morning or before sleep.
Do not watch videos that break you.
This is not indifference.
It is caring for yourself so that you still have the strength to care for others.
3. Speak it out - don’t let it accumulate
Find someone you can say to:
“This feels heavy, even though it’s not my story.”
Naming it reduces the pressure.
4. Doing something concrete is better than worrying
Make a donation.
Prepare a package.
Write a letter.
Do something useful - even something small.
Action calms the nervous system.
5. Visualize boundaries
Imagine a circle around yourself - protective, soft, and warm.
Inside it are you and your emotions.
Everything outside the circle can be seen, but it does not have to pass inside.
Remember:
Feeling is not shameful.
Being tired of other people’s pain is normal.
Protecting yourself is necessary.
You are needed alive, whole, and capable of helping.
And for that, sometimes you need to say to yourself:
“This fear is not mine. I can see it.
But I am not required to carry it.”
Because boundaries are not walls.
They are a form of love - for yourself and for the world.
On emotional contagion, boundaries, and caring for yourself
You wake up - and anxiety is already there.
Even though everything around you seems calm.
Nothing frightening has happened in your own life.
And yet your body feels heavy.
Your chest feels tight.
As if something is about to happen.
As if danger is close.
Then you remember:
yesterday you read a news story about someone who was killed.
You watched a video about an evacuation.
You saw a friend crying over her son.
You listened to stories of fear, pain, and loss.
This fear is not yours.
Yet you carry it.
Why does this happen?
This experience has a name - emotional contagion.
People with a high level of empathy tend to “pick up” other people’s emotions more easily, especially in times of war, prolonged stress, and constant exposure to distressing news.
The brain does not always clearly distinguish between something that happened to you and something that happened to someone else.
When you hear an emotionally charged story, the same neural networks can activate as if you were experiencing it yourself. These are known as mirror neurons. You empathize - and at some point, you begin to merge with someone else’s fear.
Other people’s anxiety is unconsciously read as a signal of danger.
Even if you are not in immediate danger, your body reacts as though you were at the center of it.
What can you do?
1. Learn to separate what is yours from what is not
Ask yourself a simple question:
“Is this really happening to me right now? Or am I carrying someone else’s story?”
This is not coldness.
It is emotional hygiene.
2. Limit your intake of pain
Moderate your news consumption.
Do not scroll the feed first thing in the morning or before sleep.
Do not watch videos that break you.
This is not indifference.
It is caring for yourself so that you still have the strength to care for others.
3. Speak it out - don’t let it accumulate
Find someone you can say to:
“This feels heavy, even though it’s not my story.”
Naming it reduces the pressure.
4. Doing something concrete is better than worrying
Make a donation.
Prepare a package.
Write a letter.
Do something useful - even something small.
Action calms the nervous system.
5. Visualize boundaries
Imagine a circle around yourself - protective, soft, and warm.
Inside it are you and your emotions.
Everything outside the circle can be seen, but it does not have to pass inside.
Remember:
Feeling is not shameful.
Being tired of other people’s pain is normal.
Protecting yourself is necessary.
You are needed alive, whole, and capable of helping.
And for that, sometimes you need to say to yourself:
“This fear is not mine. I can see it.
But I am not required to carry it.”
Because boundaries are not walls.
They are a form of love - for yourself and for the world.